OK. You’re 50. A long way past the natural age for living exclusively in Jordan 1s and Vans slip-ons. You still wear them, of course, out of habit and mild defiance, but every once in a while that little voice shows up and says, maybe it’s time to dress like a grown man. The problem is you don’t want to feel like a banker or suffer through shoes that feel like medieval punishment devices. Fair enough.

I think I found the answer, at least for me. The Sanders Military Derby. It’s a dead simple shoe that somehow manages to dress up or down without making a fuss about it. Goodyear welted, lug sole, built for abuse, and shockingly comfortable because it was originally designed for the British military, not a runway or a boardroom.

The bad news is the price. About $400, which is enough to make you pause and rethink your life choices.

But here’s the move. There’s a guy on eBay selling factory rejects for about half that. I grabbed a pair, fully expecting something obvious and ugly, and I’ll be damned if I can find what’s wrong with them.

Anyway, that’s the play. Details here.